Kayaking on the Charles! (Taken with instagram)
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I’m a couple days late but here we go…
“Interesting.” I remember the first time I heard that when I came to BU was in 701 and now I can’t help but say it in response to every little story or anecdote someone tells me. But I realize that, the word “interesting” is the only word to describe my freshman year at BU. It wasn’t amazingly amazing with nothing but good events happening left & right but it wasn’t horrible where I wanted to transfer out and never look back. And as I think about the year, I literally ask myself, where did all the time go. It seems like just yesterday I was moving into my corner double in Warren and meeting my floor mates. It seems like just last night, the freshman went to watch 50/50 altogether that one time. And it almost feels like just yesterday when we were playing mafia in 701 after friday service. Why does it seem like when I finally got so comfortable, I have to pick up and leave…
There were some really hard downs and there were some really good ups with super fun beginnings and lonesome winterish times. But at least now I know, aha maybe next year I can take some precautionary actions during the fall so winters aren’t as depressing as it was this year. I never realized how much weather affects my mood until I came to BU. I never believed that but its true, so Cali people coming to Boston, get ready for the shizzy weather, cause its here and it isn’t going anywhere haha.
But friends have been amazing first semester. Friends have been even more amazing second semester. I told myself I wanted a close girlfriend to stick by me by my side, no matter what happened, and I got her. I remember always telling people all my life that I’ve always wanted a brother, God did me better and gave me 5 here at BU. There’s no words to describe the type of people that I met here. Yeah, I know I always rep Cali and say we’re the best looking bunch, but I don’t know if its BU or if its an East Coast thing, but you guys are the most entertaining, most understanding, and loyal bunch that I have probably ever met in my life. I’m definitely going to miss every single one of you over the summer break and I can’t wait to spend the next 3 years with you guys :)
But in the beginning of the year I thought that I had everything figured out. And now that I look at myself, I can’t help but realize I’m a mess. Emotionally, mentally, physically (please freshman 15 be gone by next year) I learned that I was a lot weaker than I thought. Coming to the east coast made me realize it’s time to grow up, and I did…or at least I tried to. But there’s always the next three years to grow as a person, so hopefully what I end with will be much greater than what I started here with at BU haha.
People always told me, “Freshman year was the best, have fun while it lasts…” and I never know what it meant til now. Until almost every single one of my close friends were leaving , I had no idea what that meant. But its starting to hit me, and I feel like I took all this time for granted. Because of my personality, I disliked being cared for…I didn’t want anyone to think they had a particular obligation to me or felt like they had to play a certain role in my life. But I learned here at BU, its not like that. Its about creating the relationships that help you get through the difficult times, even when it hurts to open up, because in the end, that’s what makes you a better person. That’s what makes you grow.
This year was definitely a learning experience for me. I learned so much about myself from other people and from time off just being alone, and I learned how imperfect I am, and it kind of disturbs me how okay I am with it. And I remember when people say that you grow as a person in college, especially when you’re alone, I would always think to myself, what does that even mean. How do I grow and mature emotionally as a person; and I honestly wouldn’t have even noticed my change if it wasn’t for these brief moments of nostalgia that I have every so often, when I stop to think about all the good and, of course, the bad memories from this year. Hopefully I see change in myself in the next couple years though, cause in my eyes in can only get better at BU. So long freshman year.
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reality
“we keep everyone at an arms length emotionally because when its time to pick up and go, its easy…”
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“Bring your body baby I can bring my shame.
Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain.
I got my heart right here. I got my scars right here.
Bring the cups baby I can bring the drink.
Bring your body baby I can bring you fame…”
never get sick of this song
“Be careful what you think.
Your thoughts run your life.”
— Proverbs 4:23
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
“We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we’re together, cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else….”
